It was a cold morning, still dark outside as we walked through the hospital doors on November 30th, 2012. Third baby, third c-section. No matter how many times I do this, I am no less nervous than the time before. All of the emotions that I felt up until the moment you were born were so overwhelming…will you be healthy? Will the anesthesia work? Will I make it through the surgery? Is our family of four ready to become a family of five? Am I equipped to care for three babies? The questions raced over and over through my brain. The night before you were born your uncle posted these verses to his Facebook page:
Surely God is my salvation;
I will trust and not be afraid.
The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song;
he has become my salvation. – Isaiah 12:2
When I am afraid, I will trust in you. – Psalm 56:3
I remembered them as I was laying there in the hospital bed getting poked with needles and prepped for surgery. I had no reason to be afraid. God was in control. I mean, when has he not been?
The morning moved by fairly quickly and before I knew it the spinal was over, the sheet went up and your dad was brought into the operating room. The spinal worked and the doctors went to work. Dr. Delneky was the man in charge. He brought both of your brothers into this world safely and it was a comfort to know that his hands would be bringing you into this world also. Nurses swarmed about, the anesthesiologist and your dad were sitting on either side of me and all I could feel was a lot of tugging and pulling happening on the other side of the sheet. And then I heard it. The sweetest sound in all of the world. Your first cry.
8 pounds. 4 ounces. 21.5 inches long. You were perfect. I am never really prepared for what happens when I meet my babies for the first time. There really is no way to prepare, it is this automatic impulse that takes over and it’s like in the movie The Grinch where his heart grows three sizes…my heart just overflows. The cleaned you up, Daddy cut the umbilical cord, you were weighed, measured, swaddled and they snuggled you right next to me. I love you instantly. We have just met and yet I would die for you in a second. Yes, God was in control and he delivered in a magnificent way.
We were fortunate to have Jet Kaiser with us to capture your first few hours on film. Your own birthday movie! What a blessing it will be to be able to re-live those precious first hours, and to be able to see you meet your brothers again and again. Immediately upon seeing you Abram wanted to smother you with kisses and hugs. Literally, he would have smothered you if we didn’t hold him back! Asher was a little apprehensive at first. One of your first gifts was from your Mimi, an old vintage book called The New Baby. One of the most memorable and wonderful moments of my life happened then, it was just the story he needed to hear. The three of us on the hospital bed, my oldest on one side of me, my littlest on the other…the story was about an older brother meeting his new sibling for the first time and it was like someone flipped a switch inside of him. This new baby wasn’t something he needed to be unsure of. Daddy took you both then and Asher showered you with love and kisses. My family of four was going to make it as a family of five. God was still in control.
And what an amazing thing to watch a daddy meet his daughter for the first time. I am pretty certain his heart grew three sizes that day also, maybe four! You are a blessed little lady to have three guys in your life that will be there to protect you whenever you need them. And I’m sure there will come a time when they will be there to protect you and you don’t want them there but that is just a part of being a daughter and a sister…you will survive, I promise!
As I write this, you are four weeks old. We have had a few rough nights, hundreds of diaper changes, hundreds of feedings, heard lots of cries and caught glimpses of your sweet smile. We feel so blessed to have you in our family, and you are a dream come true for this mommy. I never could have imagined a daughter as perfect as you would someday be mine.
Love You Forever,
*These photos were collectively taken by me, my husband, the anesthesiologist, Jet and my mom. Most of the day post-surgery is a bit of a blur, and unfortunately I cannot remember who took what, but a big thank you to each one of you for picking up my camera and capturing what you did. I cherish these photos!